Oi, monkey lovers!
I've only gone and hijacked the Union's email account, haven’t I? What are they gonna do about it - cry?!
The powers-that-be decided my day was done. They tried to tell me it was over, that the dream was dead. They told me the fat lady had sung, that Elvis had left the building, that the last train had departed from the station. And with that, they booted me off-campus without having the good grace to kiss my hairy fat one on the way out.
THEY FAILED.
From the start of Term 2, I shall return. Top Banana is BACK, and this time I'll be having it on FRIDAYS at £3 in, £1 bevvies all night and banging tunes courtesy of my good buddies Carter & Skelhon. If that doesn't float your boat, you can GRIND YOUR BOOTY to the filthiest RnB, hip-hop, grime, bhangra and UK Funky upstairs in Room 2. In addition to me busting some frankly AMAZING MOVES up onstage, there'll also be loads of other guff going on throughout the term like Roller Discos, foam, beach parties and more. Have some o' that, Warwick!
If there's one thing that a viewing of Outbreak taught me, it's this: you can't kill the monkey. I'll be there for the big relaunch in Week 1 – will YOU?!
Regards,
Spank T. Monkey.
PS – Add me on Facebook, you chumps!
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